I Saw it on Your Keyboard
by The Cio
Summary: Edward Cullen is a vampire, and a very bored one at that. What happens when siblings Alice and Emmett intervene? Could love really be just a click away?
1. Introduction

**Um. Yeah. A fiction. Woo. **

**Well, enjoy and stuff. This chapter is really just an introduction. It's just to sort of pave the way for the rest of the story. Heh. **

**Disclaimer: I own like none of this at all. **

**Chapter One: Introduction**

Meet Edward- a vampire well over a hundred years old. And, in the course of those decades, he's found himself to have a _lot _of free time. He's whittled away the hours reading, listening to and composing music, associating with the rest of his family... the list goes on. And yet, lately, none of his former pastimes appeal to him.

Now meet Alice- another vampire and sister to Edward. Her personality and perky ways never go unnoticed. Her exuberant qualities include watching her family's futures. Seeing Edward's restless behavior spiraling to depression in a vision is one future she wants to avoid. And, being one you can always count on, Alice is ready to remedy the situation. Especially when shopping may very well be the solution...

Next meet Emmett- a third vampire and brother to Edward. His thrill for the humorous and exciting makes him a constant danger for himself and those around him. His time is often spent finding ways to bring excitement to the otherwise dead—hah, pun—house. He too notices the shift in Edward's mood. Of course, he begins to formulate his own course of action—no matter how juvenile it may be.

Alice foresees Emmett's overly loud and embarrassing reaction. She intercepts it with a newly baked plan of her own. She and Emmett confer until late night and transcend into the morning hours, when Alice's time to go shopping comes—with a slightly mischievous glint in her eyes and a smirk playing on her lips.

_What do the two siblings have in store for their boredom stricken brother? _


	2. What?

**Okay, on to the more dialog-ish chapters. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and, etc. I can't get over the fact that people actually read this. X3**

**Oh, and you know, this is before he meets Bella. And, it doesn't tie in with the story line or anything. I don't know exactly how to explain myself... It'll be obvious eventually.  
**

**Disclaimer: Twilight doesn't belong to me, nor does anything that entails. **

**Chapter Two: What?**

It was a bright Monday morning in Forks, Washington. The temperature was a cool sixty degrees Fahrenheit and the forecast for the morning was something along the lines of 'unusually sunny'. Almost as if the sky and climate knew something about today that Edward Cullen did not. For him the sun meant another day of missing school—great in itself. Or, that's what it would have been were it before everything suddenly ceased to entertain.

He began the day by relaxing, as he usually did. Turning the music to an acceptable level, and closing his eyes to feign slumber. Or at least emulate it. But today his "sleep" would be short lived.

"Edward!" came the high soprano voice of his sister. "Edward, come here!"

He internally rolled his eyes and externally rolled over, hoping to shake her off. But, how he wanted to go and see what her enthusiasm was about. It would certainly be something to do... He instinctively checked what she was thinking—better than getting up pointlessly. _Lalalala, get out of my thoughts, Edward. Come, come._

Letting out a low groan, the vampire sat up, running a long hand through his messy bronze locks. He knew she was up to something since last night. She wouldn't have locked herself up in her room with Emmett—of all people—for no reason. He could only hope that this wouldn't end badly. And, hope he did. Though, that hope grew smaller and smaller with each step he took. He didn't need his super enhanced hearing to pick up a slight whirring sound coming from Alice's room. What sort of contraption made such a purr?

Bidding his time with sluggish human speed, Edward placed his hand on the door, gripping it softly, tempted to just wait until they grew impatient enough. But, his curiosity was impatience in itself. With one swift motion, he flung the door open. "Alice," he said, quite impassively. Anyone that knew him as well as Alice did knew that something was brewing beneath the calm. Why, she simply couldn't imagine.

"What do you think?" she asked, unable to conceal the huge smile that threatened to crack her gorgeous stone face.

"Alice," Edward repeated, clearly at a loss for words. Alice didn't need Jasper to know the emotion behind that loss—confusion. "What?" He pointed accusingly at the huge monitor in front of him.

She couldn't help but laugh. "It's a computer, silly! You can't really be bored if you have a computer! So many things to do, see, and people to talk too! Emmett and I have installed anything you could possibly need. You have a place for your music, to burn CDs, and every instant messaging system you could even _imagine_! No need to thank me, Edward."

Edward opened his mouth to speak—only to close it again. What could he say? After all, he had never expressed an interest in a computer, and yet secretly coveted one. Time and time again, he would dismiss someone who offered to get him one. He would say, "No, I'm fine without one." And, yet, here one was. The keyboard practically begging him to type his fingers away. The screen ready to splutter to activity.

Unconsciously, he had been approaching the device. So much so, that his hand crossed the two measly inches between him and the desk holding his new gadget. His hand grasped the mouse, almost fervently, springing the monitor out of its self induced slumber. At the sight of the screen in front of him, his face lit up much like that of a child during Christmas.

Slowly, he turned around to face his expectant sister. He could notice her reflexively jumping on the balls of her feet. He laughed, a truly content melody and said simply, "Alice, you're the best." After which he turned back to the device and clicked a curious little icon called: _Firefox_.


	3. Firefox

**Sorry for the wait. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this stuff, you know. **

**Chapter Three: Firefox**

This icon named _firefox_ would be the first boundary onto a new frontier. Edward waited on bated breath for the page to open. After what felt like minutes—but was really seconds—the page had loaded, making his homepage present. What was this odd site?

_Google_ it said in bright multicolored letters. The same icon that had opened up this—browser, according to Alice's muddled thoughts, she was far too excited— was plastered right there at the top. Edward whipped around to Alice, an eyebrow arched in blatant confusion.

She only nodded briefly in turn. But her mind said it all. _It's time for computer lessons with Emmett. _With that, she exited the room with a grand flourish, off to get Emmett. Edward only turned back to the bright screen, eyes raking every detail. His fingers fell over the keyboard instinctively, eyes focused on the bar that awaited him on this He momentarily viewed the keyboard, instantly memorizing where every key was and what its function was. Oh, the benefits of being a vampire. Now he was ready to type, and at a speed no human could compare to.

But first, what to type? His mind searched for the most inconsequential word he could think of at the moment. The only one that truly came to mind was 'vampires'. It would be interesting to see the entire world's take on them over the Internet, where rules are broken and n00bs run rampant. At least, according to another one of Alice's fast, confusing thoughts. So his fingers flew—at inhuman speed, naturally—to type said word into the expectant box.

It took him less than a second, literally, but still, he stood back to admire his handiwork. There the world was, perfectly spelled and just waiting for the search to begin. Slowly, as if to savor the moment, he dragged the mouse over to the button that said 'Google search'. His finger hovered over the mouse, waiting to click and so he did. He brought it down with gusto.

And, after another agonizing moment, the results were in.

His eyes went wide at the number of results. Were they really all that popular? It didn't matter at the time, all he wanted to do was click the first link and see what it would bring him. To a site called _Wikipedia, _eh? His eyes gazed over the words, reading them all in practically no time. Every so often he would scoff at a false fact or belief, sometimes he would crack a smile. He was so emerged into this ridiculous recount of vampires that he didn't even bother registering either Alice's or Emmett's thoughts as they entered the room. It wasn't until Emmett spoke that Edward was pulled out of his reverie.

"I'm glad you're enjoying your comp!" Emmett boomed, clapping a hand on Edward's back enthusiastically.

"I'll leave you two to your lessons then," Alice said with a sly smile. Edward wondered what it could have been that she could have seen, but she was conveniently thinking about computer diagrams in complete detail. He turned his attention back to Emmett that wore a smile similar to Alice's when she had first showed him the computer.

"It's a beauty, isn't it?" he asked. By his thoughts, it was obvious he didn't need answer. "I'm going to show you how you're going to be working everything alright? A tour. Yeah. Now... ready to start?"

At this, Edward only had one response, "Yes." And so the tour began.

**I can promise that te he next one _will _be longer. Sorry. Heh.**


	4. The Tour: Chat Speak and Myspace

**Sorry for the wait. Spank me if you must. DD: Oh, and I have like the next three chapters mapped out in my head. So. Yeah. Most of everything is in my head. I'm just too busy/lazy to type it.**

**Chapter Four: The Tour: Chat Speak and Myspace**

Emmett peered over Edward's shoulder at the lit-up computer screen, only to see Firefox up and running. Instantly, he got an idea, not one that would be beneficial toward Edward in any way what-so-ever. "Oh, let's start the tour here," he began maliciously.

Warily, Edward nodded, knowing Emmett was the guru here.

"Little brother, what do you know about myspace?" Emmett asked, a smirk happily placed upon his face. "Or... maybe..." _Pr0n. _His thoughts finished.

"Pr0n?" Edward couldn't help but ask. He didn't know the implications of such a question though until Emmett exclaimed:

"Why did you ask sooner! I'd love to show you some pr0n!" He beamed enthusiastically, and one look into his thoughts and Edward began objecting vehemently.

He staggered back, exclaiming, "No! No pr0n!"

Emmett gave a low chuckle. "Edward... oh, young, naive Edward... this is the Internet, brother. You will see pr0n eventually. No matter how prudish you're acting at the moment." Edward opened his mouth to object, but his brother cut him off. "So, Myspace it is. I'll have to 'friend' you," he said, laughing at his mastery of the language.

The thoughts being received were a lot calmer, so Edward reluctantly agreed. "Myspace..."

"Yeah, it's this great site. Really. I have 62743 friends, Edward!" he said proudly. "I went around adding people like crazy. They never saw me coming."

"Emmett, do you even know half of those people?" Edward asked, knowing the answer.

"Of course not! Psh! That's not how you become popular like me. All that matters is profile views and friend count. _Everyone_ knows that. Jeez, Edward, you're more dense in this area than I was led to believe." He spoking chidingly, as if this was some sort of eternal crime against the world.

Edward merely rolled his eyes and placed himself back in front of the hypnotizing screen. "So anything I need to know before I start up on this... myspace?"

"Oh! I forgot the most important part! First you need a lesson in chat speak," he said, assuming a professor-like voice.

"Chat speak," Edward repeated skeptically. He didn't like where this was going. It sounded demeaning and rather—before he could finish that thought with the word 'childish', he got his first encounter with chat speak.

"LOL! Edward! OMG, ur such a n00b!" Yes. His words were spelled as such, so they were made blatantly clear in the thoughts that forced themselves into Edward's cranium. If this was chat speak, he wanted no part of it. But, he was given no chance to voice this opinion as Emmett and his thoughts raged on, instilling several abbreviations and their meanings into the confines of Edward's photographic memory. Along with several other terms that had Edward wide eyed and shocked. Even a parade of complex combinations of keys that arranged into little adorable faces appeared here and there.

_What was the purpose of the Internet these days?_

"Alright Edward, I guess you've had a thorough lesson thanks to me. Now, let's practice," Emmett continued his scholarly manner—it was probably the only time he would ever use it, or have the need to. "If I were to BRB, what would that imply?"

"That you would be right back," Edward droned back, already tired of this quizzing. What would it take for people to just write it out? A few milliseconds? Or, maybe that was just him...

"And—" before another question could be asked, Edward cut in, exasperated.

"Listen, can we get to the site, already. You know as well as I do that now those pointless things are stuck in my head forever." His brother feigned thinking—Edward would know due to the lack of thoughts coming from him.

With a quick and sure nod, Emmett said, "Yes, brother. A field test would be most essential."

Despite the sigh that this statement brought up, Emmett had Myspace up within seconds. His fingers typed furiously, and his shoulders rose so that Edward wouldn't see what he was typing. But his thoughts said it all.

"I am not a 'swinger'! And, where did you get that picture of me? 'Serious relationships'?" Edward questioned nearly everything Emmett filled out to make his account and settings. Once it was made—meaning in about 10 seconds—Emmett devilishly started adding thousands of random people, all while filling out a profile for his brother, adding blatant hints like 'single!' under About Me and 'lady friends' under Who I'd Like to Meet.

Edward tried unsuccessfully to pry his brother from the clutches of the keyboard, but had given up by the time the first 10 friends had accepted Emmett's requests.

"Oh, look, Edward!" he pointed a finger gleefully at the screen. "This one uses chat speak! Talk to them. This is your test. Hm. I'll be back in half an hour to see how you've done. If it's satisfactory, we'll go onto the next part of the tour. Now... begin!"

Emmett ran out of the room at a blinding speed, leaving Edward alone with the computer and a very intrigued female whose vocabulary only consisted of chat speak and smilies. _Oh, joy._


End file.
